Sick

Warning: I am writing under the influence of a possible fever. It gets weird in here when I have a fever (in my head, I mean).

I always go into having a cold or the flu with some sense of perverted optimism. "Oh," I think, "I'm getting sick. Well, that's okay. It's been a while since my last cold. It was about time. It will probably only last a few days. Wow. I'm out of it. Everything seems very strange to me. That's the nice thing about being sick. I get to feel out of it for no reason. Anyway, if I take enough cold medicine and drink enough tea, I'll be able to power through everything!" The optimism quickly crashes by day two and turns into a feverish, snot covered, drooling, overly emotional version of myself that has no recollection of what breathing through my nose was like. Add to that the possibility of a stomach virus (which was my day yesterday), and you have a recipe for disaster. Well, not exactly. I just laid on my couch curled up into the tightest ball possible and went on a "Dead Like Me" bender while trying not to throw up (still going 15 years strong here) and simultaneously plugging my nose with tissues.

In the midst of this, I managed to spill boiling water all over my left hand when I had the wonderful idea of making tea with ginger to try and detoxify/settle my stomach. This made it difficult for me to shower, as the sensation of steam would cause my hand to feel like it was on fire. And since hot showers are the only way I can warm up when I'm sick (or cold, in general), I found myself in quite a predicament. I comforted myself by saying, "Well, at least it wasn't my right hand."

By the end of the night I ended up calling my boyfriend to see if he could bring me some soup. Something brothy. The longer I went without eating, the worse I felt. When I ate, I strongly regretted it. But I needed something in my system, and I think I was thirsty.. but couldn't bring myself to drink any water. He remembered me lamenting about my pre-vegetarian days and my love of chicken noodle soup, and found me some vegetarian chicken noodle soup with tofu! This, as well as three other varieties should one of them just not appeal to me.

So why all of the details on being sick? Well, mainly because it causes me to appreciate being healthy. I had this terrible thought cross my mind in the midst of fever delirium: is this what it's like to be old and in a nursing home? Or to be sick with a terminal illness and completely unable to do anything? Or not even terminal, but just long term? It hit me pretty hard for some reason, and was never something I considered before. Influence number 1.

Influence number 2: cooking. This is rather strange considering I spent most of yesterday unable to eat. Something about the ability to eat soup triggered this. Unfortunately during fall and spring semester, I have no time to cook. Specifically, I have no time to bake. I really enjoy the challenge and science of baking, as well as having a ton of friends over to eat. I am looking forward to the days when I can do that again. In the mean time, here are a few cooking blogs that really inspire me:

Smitten Kitchen. This is a great place to find recipes for vegetarians and meat eaters alike. I found a fantastic recipe for pizza dough on this site. If you are just getting started learning how to cook, you may find some of the recipes too complex and the ingredients too unfamiliar. I would encourage you to browse and see if you find something simple enough to make.

The PPK. This is a great site if you are looking for gluten free or vegan recipes. It's great for beginners, as it has many full proof stews, soups, and so on. There's also a pretty decent description on how to make seitan, and by far the simplest I've found. My boyfriend is a meat eater but some of his favorite meals are from this site.

King Arthur Flour. This website will carry you through the steps of bread baking and the general rules that follow. It's pretty useful, and how I taught myself to bake bread.

Influence number 3: paranoia. I decided to get myself out of bed this morning to go to Trader Joe's and Target. Trader Joe's, for snacks for the guinea pigs and some greens to mix in with my soup.. And Target for cold medicine, tissues, cough drops, tissues, and cold medicine. And cough drops. I had a very severe sense of guilt and paranoia as I walked through both of these establishments. Mainly, that people could tell I was sick and were watching me. Not only watching me, but judging me. I tried not to touch anything unless I was definitely going to purchase it, and found myself glancing around to make sure nobody was looking. The paranoia was at its worst while I was in Target near the pharmacy, having a panic attack over all of the different choices of cold medicine. My nose decided to go absolutely haywire and I was wiping it nonstop while hoping to make good decisions about which cure to choose. And even though I was trying and possibly doing a good job at not touching anything, I felt like someone was silently accusing me of spreading my contagious death flu by touching everything. Everything. Two employees asked me if I needed help, and that never happens. "Why are you asking me if I need help?" I thought. "You never ask. Why? Does something look wrong? I swear I didn't touch anything. I mean, I might have touched the cough medicine but that was by mistake because I need decongestant." Rather than feeling a sense of gratitude, my paranoia increased exponentially.

Paranoia.. I'm not sure why it influences me, other than the fact that I find it funny. Hopefully I'll be able to find a way, down the road, to incorporate it into my work.

Anyway, if you're looking for something visual that isn't Hyperbole and a Half, check this guy out: Julien Vallee.